A Week of Firsts

Allison started holding herself up on her elbows.
She took her first trip to the pumpkin patch.





And we survived week one of daycare!

So long, and thanks for all the hairballs

We put Macks to sleep earlier today. He was seventeen. Caitlin got him as a Christmas present...in 3rd grade.

Three years ago, my old vet in Gaithersburg basically gave Macks six months to live. He was fourteen years old at the time and the vet noted some bad tooth and gum infections in his mouth. He was too fat and old to operate on, so there was pretty much nothing we could do. Remarkably, aside from looking snaggletoothed, he was perfectly fine for the next three years.

When we got back from our vacation in NY last week, it looked like someone had set off a hand grenade in his mouth. He'd constantly drool and bleed; we'd try cleaning him up but it would be just as bad the next day. I took him to our vet today and he was diagnosed with a bone tumor in his jaw the size of my thumb. We had figured as much, and were prepared (as prepared as you can be, anyway) to say goodbye.

The picture below is probably how I'll remember Macks. My parents and grandparents were in town visiting us in August, and Macks introduced himself to my grandmother thusly:

First Day

Well, we survived the first day of work/daycare. I picked Allison up and she immediately fell asleep in the car and is out COLD. I was hoping for some play/cuddle time, but I think she had a long day too. I made it until 2:00 without crying, at that point the novelty of adult time wore off. The lady in Starbucks asked if I was OK, and I started crying at her. She said it was just as hard when she went back to work 30 years ago with her daughter. The more things change, the more they stay the same huh?

Hello Reality

Well, Allison just fell asleep. I should be getting ready for work tomorrow. Going to work gets a lot more complicated with a baby. Tomorrow starts the alarm clocks, dashing off to daycare, coffee breaks, long commutes, coworkers, and new routines. Goodbye lazy summer days cuddling all day with my brand new baby Allison. Back to reality (I have some Eminem song running through my head). Here is my silver lining (albeit small)... I am looking forward to some adult conversations that don't involve the following topics: breastfeeding, diapers, favorite baby carriers, vaccines, sleeping patterns, and birth stories. I am looking forward to drinking my daily cup of joe with TWO hands and only having to focus on my computer screen while doing so. I'm looking forward to getting dressed and putting on makeup. My heart is breaking over having to leave behind my daughter for 11 hours a day.

In happy news, we now completely own both of our cars! Yay for be resposible and paying off loans.

Last Week of Fantasy Land

Allison,

This is our last week "together". Next week I go back to the daily grind of working.... well kind of. I've managed to be able to work three days a week, so I get the other two with you! I should feel like the luckiest mom to be able to spend quantity time with her babe AND provide for her, but I just feel terrible about leaving you. You have a wonderful daycare lady who will cuddle and love on you, but I wish with all my heart it could be me. We have been "practicing" daycare this week, because with your bottle hatred, we thought it would be a good idea. You have been doing great, and even drank 6 oz of milk this morning at your daycare practice.

We've been reading more together, your favorite book right now is The Rainbow Fish. You must like shiny objects, all the pictures have sparkly fish scales in them! You still freak out when Annabelle barks loudly, and you still love your daddy to walk you around to sleep. So, as much as things are changing now, they will still stay the same. I will still be your mommy, and you'll still be my happy, stubborn little baby. Life will go on after maternity leave ends. This too shall pass.

Love,

Mommy

A Letter to my Daughter

Allison,

This may seem a little (okay maybe a lot) cheesy, but I love reading these kinds of letters.. so I am writing you your first letter.

Today you are two months and 4 days old, almost 9 weeks! I can't believe it's been two months since you entered this world. The moment you were born was one of the most amazing, surreal moments of my life. At first I thought, thank GOD she's out (you didn't make it easy by any stretch of the imagination) !! Then, I just started crying happy tears, because I was so grateful you were here. The minutes it took before I got to see you seemed like an hour. Daddy handed you to me and you were so alert looking right at me. You just wanted to snuggle your mommy, and that hasn't changed in the last two months.

You are really the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. You have these sharp blue gray eyes that you stare very intently with. You have long eyelashes and when you're sleeping I just stare at your eyelashes and hold you and am so glad you are my sweet little baby. You are so curious, and so serious at times. I have half photos of you grinning, half photos of you frowning and staring. If this is any indication of your personality, I think you'll fit right into our family.

My favorite time of the day is right after you wake up. You are so happy to see me you keep smiling even while you're trying to nurse - it's quite cute! Then we lay on the bed and make faces at each other and you tell me some story in baby coos and I tell you a story in English. One day we can talk to each other in the same language. For now though, I am thrilled to hear your little coos. Sometimes you coo at your mobile more than me, and I have to come in and interrupt. Is the frog really more interesting than your mommy?

You love to be snuggled so I wrap you up in your moby, and carry you around on my chest while you nap during the day. We really have a great routine. We eat, snuggle, nap, coo, talk, smile and repeat. When Daddy comes home you always manage to crack another smile and come coos for him. Even if you are in a fussy mood at the time, seeing Daddy usually makes you break into a smile. Daddy sings Billy Joel songs to you and walks all around the house bouncing you, because you like it. Not sure why you like Billy Joel, but you do!

You have a big canine sister Annabelle, and she's quickly become the second fiddle. She does like you and comes running to your side when you're crying and sniffs you and stares at me as if she's say "Fix it please!". I think you'll be good friends as you become a crazy little toddler. When Annabelle barks really loudly out the window you get startled and throw your arms up and cry a little. I have told Annabelle you are going to get her back in a year or so when you start pulling her ears and tail and feet.

You have really shown a side of me that I've never seen before. I am patient, and don't need instant gratification all the time. I don't feel in such a rush anymore. I can just sit back and enjoy the present, enjoy every moment with you because they are going by so quickly. When Daddy, you and I sit together in your room at night reading you a story and rocking you to sleep I feel like this is what it's all about. This is a wonderful life.

I love you Allison,

Love,

Mommy

Starbucks cup sizes

Caitlin and I took an excursion to the mall a few days ago with Allison to get out of the house and walk around. At the food court, we made a pit stop at Starbucks and I had two revelations:

1. Starbucks' small drinks ("Tall") are 12 ounces each and cost $3.80. Their large drinks ("Venti") are 20 ounces each and cost $4.80. So, the large is about twice as big as the small. If you went to Starbucks every single day for a year (not a giant leap, for some people I could name) and bought a small drink each day, it would cost you $1,387. If you went every other day instead, bought a large drink, and had the willpower to save half the drink for the following day, it would cost you only $876 and save you $511 a year.
   
   
2. Just when I thought I couldn't hate their drink size names any more, I asked for some ice water and they cheerfully exclaimed "One Venti Ice Water!" when handing me my beverage. Call the coffee whatever you want, but please, please, please don't rename my tap water.