Allison,
This may seem a little (okay maybe a lot) cheesy, but I love reading these kinds of letters.. so I am writing you your first letter.
Today you are two months and 4 days old, almost 9 weeks! I can't believe it's been two months since you entered this world. The moment you were born was one of the most amazing, surreal moments of my life. At first I thought, thank GOD she's out (you didn't make it easy by any stretch of the imagination) !! Then, I just started crying happy tears, because I was so grateful you were here. The minutes it took before I got to see you seemed like an hour. Daddy handed you to me and you were so alert looking right at me. You just wanted to snuggle your mommy, and that hasn't changed in the last two months.
You are really the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. You have these sharp blue gray eyes that you stare very intently with. You have long eyelashes and when you're sleeping I just stare at your eyelashes and hold you and am so glad you are my sweet little baby. You are so curious, and so serious at times. I have half photos of you grinning, half photos of you frowning and staring. If this is any indication of your personality, I think you'll fit right into our family.
My favorite time of the day is right after you wake up. You are so happy to see me you keep smiling even while you're trying to nurse - it's quite cute! Then we lay on the bed and make faces at each other and you tell me some story in baby coos and I tell you a story in English. One day we can talk to each other in the same language. For now though, I am thrilled to hear your little coos. Sometimes you coo at your mobile more than me, and I have to come in and interrupt. Is the frog really more interesting than your mommy?
You love to be snuggled so I wrap you up in your moby, and carry you around on my chest while you nap during the day. We really have a great routine. We eat, snuggle, nap, coo, talk, smile and repeat. When Daddy comes home you always manage to crack another smile and come coos for him. Even if you are in a fussy mood at the time, seeing Daddy usually makes you break into a smile. Daddy sings Billy Joel songs to you and walks all around the house bouncing you, because you like it. Not sure why you like Billy Joel, but you do!
You have a big canine sister Annabelle, and she's quickly become the second fiddle. She does like you and comes running to your side when you're crying and sniffs you and stares at me as if she's say "Fix it please!". I think you'll be good friends as you become a crazy little toddler. When Annabelle barks really loudly out the window you get startled and throw your arms up and cry a little. I have told Annabelle you are going to get her back in a year or so when you start pulling her ears and tail and feet.
You have really shown a side of me that I've never seen before. I am patient, and don't need instant gratification all the time. I don't feel in such a rush anymore. I can just sit back and enjoy the present, enjoy every moment with you because they are going by so quickly. When Daddy, you and I sit together in your room at night reading you a story and rocking you to sleep I feel like this is what it's all about. This is a wonderful life.
I love you Allison,
Love,
Mommy
Friday, September 19, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
Starbucks cup sizes
Caitlin and I took an excursion to the mall a few days ago with Allison to get out of the house and walk around. At the food court, we made a pit stop at Starbucks and I had two revelations:- Starbucks' small drinks ("Tall") are 12 ounces each and cost $3.80. Their large drinks ("Venti") are 20 ounces each and cost $4.80. So, the large is about twice as big as the small. If you went to Starbucks every single day for a year (not a giant leap, for some people I could name) and bought a small drink each day, it would cost you $1,387. If you went every other day instead, bought a large drink, and had the willpower to save half the drink for the following day, it would cost you only $876 and save you $511 a year.
- Just when I thought I couldn't hate their drink size names any more, I asked for some ice water and they cheerfully exclaimed "One Venti Ice Water!" when handing me my beverage. Call the coffee whatever you want, but please, please, please don't rename my tap water.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Lil' Cheney
Let's be clear up front: Allison is an awesome baby. 98% of the time, anyway. She sleeps enough, cries infrequently, and is generally calm and happy.
The other 2% of the time, as babies are wont to do from time to time, she screams her little head off. That in and of itself would not be noteworthy. When she is extremely upset, however, her cries sound terrifyingly like Dick Cheney. Or, more specifically, like Jon Stewart imitating Dick Cheney.
Our neighbors nicknamed their daughter Tiny Dictator (TD) due to her small size and big demands. Well, we've got them beat.
We've got Lil' Cheney.
The other 2% of the time, as babies are wont to do from time to time, she screams her little head off. That in and of itself would not be noteworthy. When she is extremely upset, however, her cries sound terrifyingly like Dick Cheney. Or, more specifically, like Jon Stewart imitating Dick Cheney.
Our neighbors nicknamed their daughter Tiny Dictator (TD) due to her small size and big demands. Well, we've got them beat.
We've got Lil' Cheney.
Allison's Birth Story (edited version)
Allison Claire was born at 11:42 a.m. July 15, 2008 after 32 hours of labor. She weighed 9 lb 13 0z and is tall like mommy at 22.25 inches long. She is very healthy and doing well!
As most of you know we were hoping for a natural birth, but things don't always go as you planned. We are so happy to have baby and mom healthy and doing well.
June 14th, 3:15 AM: I started having real contractions at 3:15 in the morning. I woke up and said, Oh that's what real contractions feel like! I tried to sleep after waking up, but each time I dozed off the contraction would wake me up again. So, I decided to wake up. Ian, being dazed and confused asked if we could go back to sleep until 7:00 when he normally wakes up. Since I was already almost 2 weeks past my due date, it didn't quite register that I was actually in labor. At that point, we had both resigned to the fact that I'd need to be induced (starting that Monday afternoon). So, after waking up we were both really excited my body went into labor before I had to be induced. We labored at home until around 1 PM when I had a pre-inducement appointment at the hospital. They wanted me to still come in so they could decide if I was actually in labor. Well, I had been having contractions all morning that ranged between 5-8 minutes apart and were about a minute long. We did a lot of things to distract ourselves (walked, TV, eating) just pausing as needed for the contractions.
1 PM: When we went into the hospital for the cervadil appointment the contractions became a little more intense, and I must have freaked out the registration lady because I was breathing through one while she kept asking stupid questions like our phone numbers (I was a little PO'd b/c I had preregistered, but they didn't seem to care). She kind of stopped in mid sentence and said she'd get a wheelchair for me. I think I snapped back that I did not need a wheelchair and that I was completely capable of walking. Anyway, at the appointment they hooked me up to the EFM to see my contractions and the heartrate. Since I was having decent contractions every 3-4 mins the doctor said I could go over to labor and delivery and they'd break my water. At this point I was 4 cm dialated. I did not like the idea of them trying to break my water early, so we said we'd go home and come back after things progressed more. They had me go over to labor and delivery to be discharged and I met my favorite nurse who was totally on board with the natural childbirth process. She said she'd be on until 7, but when I came back she'd try and get me with a nurse that would be good in that area too.
5 PM: We went home and labored there some more. I was sitting at the dining room table (it was way more comfy to sit than lay down for some reason) and in the middle of a contraction my water broke. It was the best (and weirdest) feeling ever. We loaded up the car, drove back to the hospital and settled in for the long haul. I got there and had the awesome nurse for an hour or so. Then, the night shift came in and the nurse I had was fine, but not as awesome and the first one. Ian called her Nurse Barbie.
7 PM: I got checked at and unfortunately was still 4 c.m. (same as at 1 PM).
10 PM: I got checked again and was still only 4 c.m. Since it had been 9 hours at 4 cm. and 5 hours since my water broke the doctor basically said I need to get on pitocin to progress my labor. He told me the why and I agreed. I thought that laboring with pitocin would be better than continuing not to progress and running out of time since my water had already broken. I got on pitocin around 10:00/10:30. I could very quickly tell the difference in the types of contractions between natural and pitocin induced. Regular contractions have this nice wave, and peak with a break in between. It was so much easier to manage those because of the gradual increase and dropoff. With pitocin I could feel it starting b/c it took my breath away, then it was like running into a brick wall immediately very painful, it would stay very painful then drop away. Another contraction would quickly start up again without much of a break inbetween. I can definitely say our bodies know how to do it much better than the drugs do!! Most of the time I was on pitocin I don't remember, so this is what Ian tells me:
From 10:30 until midnight the contractions seemed painful but bearable. From midnight until about 2 a.m. the contractions seemed horrible, but far enough apart where she could recover inbetween. Going to the bathroom was an ordeal b/c she was hooked up the the IV and machines, but once we got there it really helped her be able to manage the contractions. I wanted her to stay sitting on the toilet b/c she was doing so much better there, but it was too cold and she really wanted to go back to the bed. 2 a.m. to 5 a.m. it was unbearable. She was in and out of conciousness and one contraction started immediately after the last one and she kept begging me to make it stop. There wasn't much I could do because any touch or sound was too much. The doctor wasn' t there overnight, and so at 4:30 we got the nurse to check Caitlin so we could get some frame of reference. At this point she was 6 cm.
June 15th, 5 AM: I gained some lucidity and told Ian I couldn't do it anymore without some relief, and that I needed the epidural. The anesthesiologist came in around 5:30 and gave me the epi without any problems. I was scared, but so desperate that I didn't mind it. It actually wasn't that bad getting the epidural and after 15 minutes or so I felt so much better. As soon as I felt that relief I feel asleep for an hour. After an hour the epi stopped working b/c the line was blocked and I started feeling the pit contractions again. I started panicking because I just didn't think I could deal with those contractions again and I kept buzzing the nurse until the realized I wasn't kidding that the epi wasn't working. A different anethisologist came in and flushed the line and fixed it. I rested for about another hour.
7 AM: My favorite nurse came back, and a different doctor was on call! They both came in and the nurse helped make me comfortable and the different doctor checked me. I was 7 cm dilated, yay! He said the pitocin dose wasn't correct anymore since I had an epidural, so they turned it up and after about 2 hours I was complete. I knew when I was because I started to feel a ton of pressure with each contraction. They had me labor down for a while since she was still up so high.
9:15 AM: They had me start pushing. I starting running a fever at this point, which I guess happens if your water breaks early and you're in labor a long time. Pushing was weird because at first I didn't feel like I was doing anything. They turned the epi off when I started pushing. Eventually, I could feel more of what I was doing. It was hard work, but it felt good to push. I pushed her far enough down that I could see the top of her head in a mirror that they held up for me, but at that point my pushes weren't getting her any further down. My awesome nurse decided I needed someone really motivating in the room, so she went and got the nurse that she called The Pushinator. When this nurse came in, she really got things going fast. We tried a bunch of different positions, and the one that worked the best was a modified squat with Ian holding my arms at the end of the bed and pulling me up. I got her further down but it wasn't moving along fast enough and I had literally run out of steam after two hours (!!) of pushing.
11:30 AM: The doctor said he was going to have to give a little help getting her out, and he started suctioning her head. After just two contractions of pushing with the suction, her head was out. After one more contraction, her whole body was out!
They immediately cut her cord and the NICU doctors started working furiously on her to clean her off. She didn't appear to be in any distress, so they didn't have to take her off to the NICU. I watched her little feet kicking from across the room while they were cleaning her off. I was so happy I was crying...I kept asking Ian what she looked like, and he said that she was perfect. After what seemed like an eternity (but was more like 5 minutes) Ian brought her over to me. I held her; she was very lucid and staring at me. She was awake and lucid, and we just snuggled skin-to-skin until she went to the nursery.
Even though we ended up with a medicated labor, we feel like we did everything we could and we were really involved in our birth as opposed to just being bystanders. She was very lucid when she was born, in the quiet alert state and very healthy. Going through seven unmedicated hours of pitocin contractions before getting an epidural was one of the hardest experiences of my life, but we feel that doing everything we could to reduce the amount of drugs in our system made for a healthier birth and a healthy baby.
Going through the experience of birth together with Ian was an amazing, surreal experience and the end result is just perfect. We're now just enjoying life as a family and Allison can't wait to meet all of you!
Caitlin, Ian, and Allison
As most of you know we were hoping for a natural birth, but things don't always go as you planned. We are so happy to have baby and mom healthy and doing well.
June 14th, 3:15 AM: I started having real contractions at 3:15 in the morning. I woke up and said, Oh that's what real contractions feel like! I tried to sleep after waking up, but each time I dozed off the contraction would wake me up again. So, I decided to wake up. Ian, being dazed and confused asked if we could go back to sleep until 7:00 when he normally wakes up. Since I was already almost 2 weeks past my due date, it didn't quite register that I was actually in labor. At that point, we had both resigned to the fact that I'd need to be induced (starting that Monday afternoon). So, after waking up we were both really excited my body went into labor before I had to be induced. We labored at home until around 1 PM when I had a pre-inducement appointment at the hospital. They wanted me to still come in so they could decide if I was actually in labor. Well, I had been having contractions all morning that ranged between 5-8 minutes apart and were about a minute long. We did a lot of things to distract ourselves (walked, TV, eating) just pausing as needed for the contractions.
1 PM: When we went into the hospital for the cervadil appointment the contractions became a little more intense, and I must have freaked out the registration lady because I was breathing through one while she kept asking stupid questions like our phone numbers (I was a little PO'd b/c I had preregistered, but they didn't seem to care). She kind of stopped in mid sentence and said she'd get a wheelchair for me. I think I snapped back that I did not need a wheelchair and that I was completely capable of walking. Anyway, at the appointment they hooked me up to the EFM to see my contractions and the heartrate. Since I was having decent contractions every 3-4 mins the doctor said I could go over to labor and delivery and they'd break my water. At this point I was 4 cm dialated. I did not like the idea of them trying to break my water early, so we said we'd go home and come back after things progressed more. They had me go over to labor and delivery to be discharged and I met my favorite nurse who was totally on board with the natural childbirth process. She said she'd be on until 7, but when I came back she'd try and get me with a nurse that would be good in that area too.
5 PM: We went home and labored there some more. I was sitting at the dining room table (it was way more comfy to sit than lay down for some reason) and in the middle of a contraction my water broke. It was the best (and weirdest) feeling ever. We loaded up the car, drove back to the hospital and settled in for the long haul. I got there and had the awesome nurse for an hour or so. Then, the night shift came in and the nurse I had was fine, but not as awesome and the first one. Ian called her Nurse Barbie.
7 PM: I got checked at and unfortunately was still 4 c.m. (same as at 1 PM).
10 PM: I got checked again and was still only 4 c.m. Since it had been 9 hours at 4 cm. and 5 hours since my water broke the doctor basically said I need to get on pitocin to progress my labor. He told me the why and I agreed. I thought that laboring with pitocin would be better than continuing not to progress and running out of time since my water had already broken. I got on pitocin around 10:00/10:30. I could very quickly tell the difference in the types of contractions between natural and pitocin induced. Regular contractions have this nice wave, and peak with a break in between. It was so much easier to manage those because of the gradual increase and dropoff. With pitocin I could feel it starting b/c it took my breath away, then it was like running into a brick wall immediately very painful, it would stay very painful then drop away. Another contraction would quickly start up again without much of a break inbetween. I can definitely say our bodies know how to do it much better than the drugs do!! Most of the time I was on pitocin I don't remember, so this is what Ian tells me:
From 10:30 until midnight the contractions seemed painful but bearable. From midnight until about 2 a.m. the contractions seemed horrible, but far enough apart where she could recover inbetween. Going to the bathroom was an ordeal b/c she was hooked up the the IV and machines, but once we got there it really helped her be able to manage the contractions. I wanted her to stay sitting on the toilet b/c she was doing so much better there, but it was too cold and she really wanted to go back to the bed. 2 a.m. to 5 a.m. it was unbearable. She was in and out of conciousness and one contraction started immediately after the last one and she kept begging me to make it stop. There wasn't much I could do because any touch or sound was too much. The doctor wasn' t there overnight, and so at 4:30 we got the nurse to check Caitlin so we could get some frame of reference. At this point she was 6 cm.
June 15th, 5 AM: I gained some lucidity and told Ian I couldn't do it anymore without some relief, and that I needed the epidural. The anesthesiologist came in around 5:30 and gave me the epi without any problems. I was scared, but so desperate that I didn't mind it. It actually wasn't that bad getting the epidural and after 15 minutes or so I felt so much better. As soon as I felt that relief I feel asleep for an hour. After an hour the epi stopped working b/c the line was blocked and I started feeling the pit contractions again. I started panicking because I just didn't think I could deal with those contractions again and I kept buzzing the nurse until the realized I wasn't kidding that the epi wasn't working. A different anethisologist came in and flushed the line and fixed it. I rested for about another hour.
7 AM: My favorite nurse came back, and a different doctor was on call! They both came in and the nurse helped make me comfortable and the different doctor checked me. I was 7 cm dilated, yay! He said the pitocin dose wasn't correct anymore since I had an epidural, so they turned it up and after about 2 hours I was complete. I knew when I was because I started to feel a ton of pressure with each contraction. They had me labor down for a while since she was still up so high.
9:15 AM: They had me start pushing. I starting running a fever at this point, which I guess happens if your water breaks early and you're in labor a long time. Pushing was weird because at first I didn't feel like I was doing anything. They turned the epi off when I started pushing. Eventually, I could feel more of what I was doing. It was hard work, but it felt good to push. I pushed her far enough down that I could see the top of her head in a mirror that they held up for me, but at that point my pushes weren't getting her any further down. My awesome nurse decided I needed someone really motivating in the room, so she went and got the nurse that she called The Pushinator. When this nurse came in, she really got things going fast. We tried a bunch of different positions, and the one that worked the best was a modified squat with Ian holding my arms at the end of the bed and pulling me up. I got her further down but it wasn't moving along fast enough and I had literally run out of steam after two hours (!!) of pushing.
11:30 AM: The doctor said he was going to have to give a little help getting her out, and he started suctioning her head. After just two contractions of pushing with the suction, her head was out. After one more contraction, her whole body was out!
They immediately cut her cord and the NICU doctors started working furiously on her to clean her off. She didn't appear to be in any distress, so they didn't have to take her off to the NICU. I watched her little feet kicking from across the room while they were cleaning her off. I was so happy I was crying...I kept asking Ian what she looked like, and he said that she was perfect. After what seemed like an eternity (but was more like 5 minutes) Ian brought her over to me. I held her; she was very lucid and staring at me. She was awake and lucid, and we just snuggled skin-to-skin until she went to the nursery.
Even though we ended up with a medicated labor, we feel like we did everything we could and we were really involved in our birth as opposed to just being bystanders. She was very lucid when she was born, in the quiet alert state and very healthy. Going through seven unmedicated hours of pitocin contractions before getting an epidural was one of the hardest experiences of my life, but we feel that doing everything we could to reduce the amount of drugs in our system made for a healthier birth and a healthy baby.
Going through the experience of birth together with Ian was an amazing, surreal experience and the end result is just perfect. We're now just enjoying life as a family and Allison can't wait to meet all of you!
Caitlin, Ian, and Allison
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Dear Baby (I'm not going to call you Allison yet.. until you're actually born, especially since this last week I've been toying with flipping your middle name for your first name... yes Daddy thinks I'm crazy) ,
Tomorrow is your due date! The day I've been repeating over and over for the last 9 months. It could quite possibly be anti-climatic, unless you really are like your dad and you show up precisely on time tomorrow on your due date. If you're like your mom you won't be here for another week. I sure can't wait for you to join our world. My heart aches just thinking about meeting you and holding you. You can stay inside as long as you need to, but baby we miss you and we haven't even met you yet! Daddy talks about how he's going to teach you to read and fence and hopefully pass to you a sense of humor (ask Uncle James about this... apparently Mommy doesn't have one). I told Daddy that I just want to enjoy your baby stage, then we can talk about all that grown up stuff like reading and cracking jokes.
Patiently waiting, love,
Mommy
Tomorrow is your due date! The day I've been repeating over and over for the last 9 months. It could quite possibly be anti-climatic, unless you really are like your dad and you show up precisely on time tomorrow on your due date. If you're like your mom you won't be here for another week. I sure can't wait for you to join our world. My heart aches just thinking about meeting you and holding you. You can stay inside as long as you need to, but baby we miss you and we haven't even met you yet! Daddy talks about how he's going to teach you to read and fence and hopefully pass to you a sense of humor (ask Uncle James about this... apparently Mommy doesn't have one). I told Daddy that I just want to enjoy your baby stage, then we can talk about all that grown up stuff like reading and cracking jokes.
Patiently waiting, love,
Mommy
Friday, June 27, 2008
Come out, come out, wherever you are...
Dear Allison,
Hi. We would very much like it if you would come out now. Your room is ready. Our bags are packed for the hospital. We've pretty much run out of things we can do to prepare. Your mom's been carrying you around for nine months now and I think she's ready to have her whole body back. Anything you can do to speed things up in there would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks.
P.S. We have presents for you if you hurry.
Hi. We would very much like it if you would come out now. Your room is ready. Our bags are packed for the hospital. We've pretty much run out of things we can do to prepare. Your mom's been carrying you around for nine months now and I think she's ready to have her whole body back. Anything you can do to speed things up in there would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks.
P.S. We have presents for you if you hurry.
Friday, June 13, 2008
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